


Andante

by CodenameArtemis



Category: Firefly
Genre: Adventure & Romance, BAMF River, Bounty Hunters, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Families of Choice, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Space Pirates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodenameArtemis/pseuds/CodenameArtemis
Summary: It's been four months since Miranda. Four months since they buried Wash and Shepherd Book. Four months of silence from any sort of pursuit from the Alliance. The crew do their best to deal with the grief of loss and the horrors they've experienced.The crew encounter new faces, old enemies, and a universe of trouble as the fallout of what happened on Miranda continues to ripple across the Galaxy. River and Mal find themselves growing close as they co-pilot Serenity and partner up on missions.Could River be falling in love? She isn't sure. Doesn't know what that feels like. What she feels for the Captain though is incredibly strong and becoming impossible to deny. Can they have what seems like a forbidden love or is it just something that was never meant to be? When a new possible ally shows romantic interest in River, things get even more complicated. Mal realizes he must make a choice or risk losing River forever, in more ways than one.
Relationships: Kaylee Frye/Simon Tam, Malcolm Reynolds & River Tam, Malcolm Reynolds/River Tam, River Tam & Simon Tam
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just having a bit of fun with these characters. I love my rare pair Maliver. Also, please forgive my butchering of the Mandarin language.

Falling apart. Everything is falling apart.

Shattered and fractured pieces. Jagged holes. Broken parts don’t make a whole. Atmosphere feels all wrong. Pain. Grief laps at her neck, making her feel all tight and like she can’t breathe. Surrounded by feelings that are not her own. Drowning in them, forced to feel these things that are not hers to feel. It is too much like violation. Invasion of privacy, of the deepest, darkest corners of people. Hidden corners that are not meant to be seen and experienced.

It ain’t right. Don’t feel shiny. Feels all sorts of wrong and eats out her insides. She does what she can. Pushes it out of her mind. The broken shards of Zoe’s grief. The sharp edges of the captain’s guilt and anger. The shame tinged secretive love of her brother and Kaylee. The restless ache of Jayne and his need to do something violent and distracting and useful. Too many feelings for him. Too many feelings for her too. He doesn’t know what to do with all these feelings, makes him antsy. It makes her antsy too. 

She can’t outrun them. Can only bury them. Numb it until she is foggy and disoriented. She has trouble deciphering what is hers and what is not. She feels Serenity’s pain and loss, tries her best to soothe what she knows deep down can only be healed by time. She keeps to herself for the sake of the others and for herself. It stays too much. Zoe, whose eyes are dry, but River can still see every part of her leaking. Bleeding life and love and pain and sadness. She wants to help hold everything together. Doesn’t know how. She has trouble holding herself together most days. 

River doesn’t know what to do with herself. Can’t read broken thoughts that are not meant for her prying mind. So, she drifts throughout the ship, never lingering anywhere too long. She leaves Simon and Kaylee to their romancing. Jayne to his gun cleaning and bench pressing. The captain to his brooding. She is drawn to Zoe again and again. She’s afraid of intruding. Of being unwelcome. Of being a horrific reminder. She feels guilt that takes her breath away and she thinks this might actually be hers and no one else’s. Guilt that she can’t bring Wash back. Guilt that nothing will ever be the same again. She knows it. Serenity knows it. This guilt that is hers that she doesn’t know what do with other than keep it close.

So, when she sees Zoe sitting on the catwalk above the cargo bay. She doesn’t think about it. She swings herself up and over the side with ease and pads on cool, bare feet to her. Stops a foot away, hesitates, shuffles back a little before committing to sit. Keeps her eyes and her mind to herself, not wanting to be a bother. She is determined to offer this thing called silent support that she is not even sure works.

“River,” Zoe acknowledges softly after a moment. It sounds as much like a sigh as it does her name. “It’s late. What are you doin’ up, little one?”

She peeks through the strands of her hair, almost shy-like and bites her lip. “Couldn’t sleep. Too much in my head. Thought I’d keep you company.” She rolls a shoulder. “‘Sides, the Captain said it was my turn to keep watch later tonight. Wanna keep pullin’ my weight. Earnin’ my keep.”

“Glad to hear it. I hear tell the captain’s been training you to co-pilot. He says you’re a real natural. Got a real light touch,” Zoe says, her gaze flickering away. River hears what she doesn’t say. Hears the things she won’t say.

River pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on her arms. “Shiny co-pilot for sure. Won’t ever be the best though. Title belongs to someone else. Never try and take it. Things change but that never will. Won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.” 

Zoe draws in a breath and River fears she said too much. Touched too close to the wound, but she only releases the air and nods to herself at the words. “Thank you, River.” 

River knows that nothing more should be said. It is still too soon. Zoe can’t say his name. Won’t even think it from what she can tell. She is swimming in her grief, but there is strength there too. And determination. Zoe is determined to stay present. To honor and acknowledge what she lost, but is making a conscious effort not to let it destroy her. It catches her off guard. She is enthralled with the sheer amount of strength that is pulsing from this woman. 

She stands and slinks off after another few moments of silence, knowing Zoe is already lost in thoughts and memories and feelings. Zoe will wade deeper, but River is confidant she will find her way to the other side when she is good and ready. 

The captain is sitting in the pilot’s chair, Wash’s chair, when she glides silently onto the bridge. His gaze is on the endless black, his thoughts even farther away. She doesn’t have to peek at his thoughts to know that he is brooding again. The air is thick with his guilt and she wants so bad to tell him that it isn’t his fault. The blame lies with her alone. He is gorram stubborn though. Won’t listen when he don’t like what he hears. Won’t listen to what he has yet to understand. 

She cocks her head and listens. Yes, most likely not ready to hear the truth. He feels deeply. Doesn’t know what to do with the feelings. All the jagged emotions. He’s used to it, but no less overwhelmed by it. Even if his face won’t show it. She reads his message loud and clear. His crew. His responsibility. Carries such weight on his shoulders. A soldier’s oath. We take care of our own. The captain misses Wash, the man whose good heart and good humor could have lit up the whole galaxy with little effort. He misses the shepherd, the man’s unending strength and rock-solid faith in the good. Wonders if they died in vain. If the broadcast was worth the high price. If they are fighting a battle that they don’t have a hope of winning. 

“No. Not in vain. Never in vain, Captain,” she says, laced with cement and steel. “Fight is always worth it when the fight is right. Wash knew the price. Was willin’ to pay. Shepherd too.” 

He is only slightly startled by her presence and even less so to her answering the words in his head. “I hope you’re right, little Albatross.” 

He won’t say it. Hates losing people. He lost in the war. Came home to family that was no longer there. Got himself a crew. Made himself a family. Doesn’t want to lose them too. Lost some of them anyway. Afraid of losing more. Understands loss only all too well. Doesn’t like it none. 

“Loss is a part of life. Never is easy though. Don’t ever get any easier either. Fear is normal to feel. I understand. Crew is your family. You want to protect them, but don’t know how to best go about it. I promise to help you. Do what I can to protect them too. I’m sorry about Wash and about Shepherd. Good, honest people. Deserved better than they got.” It saddens her. Forms cracks in her heart for the ones she knew. 

He releases a heavy breath and turns the rotating pilot seat to face her. “Have to admit, it’s still a mite unsettling how well you can do that. Pluckin’ thoughts from people’s heads and such.” He says this as a distraction so she makes no response, only waits. He shakes his head. “They deserved a whole hell of a lot better than the hand they were dealt. That’s for gorram sure.” 

She steps closer, folds her arms over her chest. “Not your fault, Captain. Bad things happen. Unquantifiable. Can’t be predicted. You didn’t know. Couldn’t have known the high price they’d pay. The high price we all would pay.” 

She bites her lip, glances away. Cannot bare to look at him anymore. “Maybe it’s a domino effect. Things might have been different if you all had sent me away. My presence may have been the catalyst. There are too many variables, I cannot say for sure. If it’s anyone’s fault, Captain, then it is mine.” 

Her shoulders slump and she can feel the traitorous moisture behind her eyes. She doesn’t want to leak anything out. Poisonous. It is better locked up deep inside of her. She’s dangerous. Can’t be trusted. They should have sent her away. She knows it. She doesn’t trust herself. 

She knows he would have never sent her away, no matter how much he threatened Simon with dumping them on some planet. It isn’t his way. Somewhere along the way he took responsibility for their lives and now he won’t let go. He might be better off without them. The crew would surely be better off. But he cannot let go. The captain has a letting go problem. She wonders when that began applying to her. 

She blinks slowly and he is standing in front of her. A pillar of strength and stubbornness. 

“Fei hua. That ain’t plum right. If the fault don’t lay with me, then it don’t lay with you neither. You said so yourself, there ain’t no way of knowing,” he says firmly. His thoughts and his words are unwavering. He stares and she meets his gaze head on. 

He sighs after a moment, breaks eye contact, rubs a calloused hand on the back of his neck. “Probably ‘bout time we stop tossin’ the blame around here. Not doin’ us a bit a’ good, huh, little one?” He never was comfortable with deep conversation; he believes some things ought to be left alone in the mind. Too sharp. Might cut yourself on the thoughts. 

“Suppose not, Captain.” It’s a deal offered. He will stop blaming himself if she stops blaming herself. She doesn’t want to argue. Agree to disagree then. 

“If my presence does ever become a problem, I will remove myself. Do what I can to protect you and what’s yours. Not losin’ anyone else,” she says, putting up every bit of that unyielding attitude that always drove her brother up the wall. 

His mind registers surprise and then immediate pushback. Some unknown emotion ripples through him, but it is gone before she can pinpoint what it is. “That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart. I’d say you’d be included in what’s mine. You’re crew too, River. I wouldn’t fancy losin’ you either. I know the others would more than agree.” His eyes that are endlessly blue, are intent on her. His hands are large and warm resting on her shoulders now. 

She forgets that he can be unyielding too. He raises an eyebrow, prepared to fight her on this and it puts a smirk on her face. “Even Jayne would agree?” she asks, her words conveying reluctant acquiesce. She remembers to choose her battles. No need to push now. She will push later if it comes to that. 

A hint of a smile graces his lips, and he lets his hands fall away. “Even Jayne, though he’d never say. Would likely rather shoot his own foot ‘fore admittin’ it to a single soul.” 

“We’re crew. Family. We take care of each other,” River says, testing the words on the tip of her tongue like she doesn’t quite believe it yet. “All of us, Jayne too.” It is still hard to believe that he’d include her that. 

He rewards her with a lopsided grin that crinkles around his eyes. “Dahng ran, little Albatross. We look after each other. That is always goin’ to include you. Dong ma?” 

“Understood, Captain.” 

She remembers very clearly a time when it wouldn’t have included her or her brother. Simon has always proved helpful and important. He is needed, no matter how much he seems to push the captain’s buttons. She wants to be needed too. River wants nothing more than to prove herself useful. She believes what she did for them on Miranda was a step in the right direction. There is trust where there wasn’t much before. It’s a start. 

“I’m gonna catch a few hours' sleep. Wake me if there’s any sort of trouble.” There is calm in his words and she can tell he’s no longer of the mind that she might go crazy and kill everyone in their sleep. He’s leaving her alone to fly the ship. He’s showing faith in her, despite saying countless times that he left his faith long ago. 

“Rest well, Captain,” she says, already drifting to the co-pilot seat that has become her own in the last few weeks. Once she’s alone on the bridge, she curls up in the chair and wraps herself up in the warmth of Serenity. She speaks to her memory of Wash in her head, tells him how much he’s missed and how strong Zoe has been. Asks him how best to go about taking care of his crew. She whispers comforting words to Serenity too. Asks for guidance and direction. She gets reassurance and makes good on her promise to watch over the captain’s beloved boat. 

… 

Zoe is the one to rouse her out of her swirling thoughts in the morning. She can sense enough of the first mate’s mind to know that she is having a decent enough start to the day. The tides of grief are low and the sadness is muted. She’d offered to be the one to fetch River from her watch after breakfast had been announced and that thought warms her insides. 

“The captain wants to discuss our next job after breakfast,” Zoe says as they walk side by side down to the kitchen to where the others are already seated and eating. “He has a special request if’n you’re up for it, little one.” 

She sees in her mind what will be asked of her and smirks. “Simon will disapprove,” she says, her voice drips with mischief. “This should be fun.” Zoe gives her a sidelong grin and shake of her head in response. 

They enter the kitchen to the sound of Jayne grumbling and Kaylee’s high-pitched giggling. Her brother’s face is an interesting shade of red and he looks to have swallowed a lemon. “Kaylee, I’d take it as a kindness if’n you left some of what you were doing to the doc in the bedroom to your own self?” The captain requests, his face a mask of somewhat mock sternness and thinly veiled disgust. 

“Yes, please, Kaylee, you don’t have to share everything with them,” Simon chokes out, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. “Some things ought to be kept private.” 

Kaylee’s mouth juts out in a slight pout. “Ah, Simon. I didn’t mean nothin’ unsavory by it. I’m just ruttin’ proud I finally got you all to my own self. We are really good together. We fit together real perfect like and –” 

“Ah, I think my ears is bleedin’. I can’t ruttin’ take that garbage!” Jayne blurts out, his mouth twisting. 

“You’re lying,” River says as way of greeting. “You’re itchin’ to hear more, but don’t want anyone to know that. Sex intrigues you. Any sort. Even talk of Kaylee and Simon.” 

“That ain’t true!” Jayne sputters, but his pink tinged ears give him away. “Not any sort anyhow. Quit readin’ me, Moonbrain, or there’s gonna be issue ‘tween us, dong ma?” 

She shrugs. “Your thoughts are loud and rude. Hard to ignore. Besides, wouldn’t miss a chance to embarrass you, Jayne Cobb.” Zoe and Kaylee are both holding back smiles. Simon looks caught between relieved that the attention is off him and concerned that she is picking a fight with Jayne. The captain is harder to read, but is clearly at least slightly amused. 

Jayne’s jaw clenches. “If’n you continue to read my private thoughts I’m gonna hang you by your toes, little girl. Don’t test me...” 

“Could kill you with my brain,” she counters and it causes him to come up short, to seem a little unsure of his threats now. She can sense the captain wanting to step in before it gets bad. 

The captain clears his throat. “That’s enough, both of you. Jayne, back off or I just might feel the need to hang you by your toes. River, darlin’, might ya ease up a little on the teasin’? Jayne here is liable to blow a gasket if you don’t.” 

“Shiny, Captain. Didn’t mean anything by it. Just havin’ a bit of fun.” She gives him a smile before turning to Jayne. “I don’t read private thoughts, Jayne. Stop broadcasting your thoughts and I will stop seeing them.” 

Jayne harrumphs and shoves more food into his mouth. “Gorram mind reader,” he says around a mouthful of protein mush. The conversation around the table moves on as Kaylee strikes up talk with Zoe and Mal. 

River floats to her seat beside her brother and brushes a kiss to his cheek before sitting down and taking the bowl of food he offers. “Why do you antagonize him, mei-mei? One day you might take it too far,” Simon whispers to her, the worry making his eyebrows furrow. 

She shakes her head. “No worry needed, Simon. I know his limits and I know my own. Promise I won’t take it too far.” 

“If you’re sure, River,” he says with a small nod and goes back to eating his protein. 

As they near the end of breakfast, the Captain gets to his feet at the head of the table and everyone turns their attention to him. “As I’m sure Zoe has mentioned to all of you, we are coming up on a job in a few hours. I wanted to take this time to think up a plan for how we’d like this to play out. It’s easy enough, but we’re all aware of how even those jobs have gone pear-shaped on us in the past.” 

His eyes slide to Zoe who gives him a nod before they slide to River. “We’re workin’ with a new face and I’d take it as a kindness if you’d accompany us, little Albatross. We could use your readin’ skills. Otherwise, we’ll be flyin’ blind.” 

“Captain, I thought I made it abundantly clear about how I feel about River going on jobs. It’s too dangerous. She’s still healing from Miranda. The trauma-” Simon says, but she cuts him off before he can finish. 

“I am not a child, Simon. I can speak for myself. I’m getting better. I am,” she says, trying hard not to sound too much like she is insisting. “I can help so I should. Earn my keep.” 

Simon shakes his head. “You don’t need to earn your keep, River. I do more than enough with patching up the crew for the both of us. Besides, you’ve been piloting the ship. There is no need for you to do more. Don’t feel like you have to do this for them, River.” 

The captain’s expression is leaning towards annoyed. “You best tread lightly, doc. I wouldn’t want to take any of your meaning the wrong way. I am still the one callin’ the shots here.” 

Simon’s eyes flicked to him; his gaze unwavering. “I mean no disrespect, Captain, but you could see where I’d get the notion that my sister does more than enough for you.” 

She watches the different emotions that flit across the captain’s face before he sighs and turns to her. “I ain’t aimin’ to force you into anything you don’t want to do, River. The choice to accompany us is your own.” 

She doesn’t hesitate, she nods. “I want to help, Captain. Help protect. Do what I can. I made a promise I intend to keep.” She glances at her brother and after a moment he concedes by sighing and leaning back in the seat and taking Kaylee’s hand in his. 

“So, what’s the plan, sir?” Zoe asks, getting down to business. 

“It ain’t nothin’ too crazy. I heard talk while we were in Persephone a few days ago that there were some job offerings on Santo. It’s someone we ain’t worked for before, goes by the name of McCreary. Should be a simple enough delivery run, I reckon, but with so many new faces, I will feel a mite better with you there, little Albatross,” the Captain says, inclining his head. 

“Do we know anything about this guy?” Her brother asks, mostly curiosity in his words, but wariness too. 

“No need to know ‘em in order to do the job. We don’t have a whole lot of options anyhow. Patience is feelin’ a mite trigger happy. Mingo and Fanty aren’t in the forgivin’ mood. The Holden boys don’t see us as fit to even poke with a stick and Badger ain’t feelin’ too generous at the moment. McCreary’s a new face, but I hear he’s got more than enough contacts around the ‘verse that there’s some profit to be made by working for him,” he explains, and he folds his arms like he’s waiting for the objections. 

“Is it the best idea to be working for someone new so close after Miranda? Surely, I am not alone in thinking that the Alliance is not just going to turn a blind eye to us? The operative did say that they were likely to come at us sideways. I mean, how hard could it be to pose as a smuggler?” Simon has always been full of questions, it’s been that way since they were children. She sees that is not likely to change. He is still full of questions and caution and protectiveness. 

“Not hard I’d imagine, but we don’t have much of a choice. We’re in need of the money and some new connections would do us good in the future. I understand your worry, Doc, and I aim to agree with you. We’ll be real careful like until we know more about this guy. Sound agreeable enough?” The captain asks, his eyes on the doctor. 

Simon considers his words, glances at Kaylee and then at his sister. “And you’ll look after my mei-mei, Captain? I want her safe.” His gaze returns to their fearless leader. 

“More than capable of looking after myself, Simon,” River interrupts, eyes narrowing. 

The captain’s lips quirk, but he nods in consent. “Even though she speaks the truth, Doc, I swear by me and my own I will look after her.” 

Simon is satisfied with his answer. “It is appreciated, Captain.” That is as close as a thank you as he probably will ever come to with the other man. 

“We will look after each other, Captain. This is not one-sided,” River speaks up from her seat beside her brother. 

Mal purses his lips. “Fair enough, little Albatross.” He looks around the table at his crew. “Now how’s about we discuss the plan? Zoe, you and I’ll be taking point. Jayne, you’ll be our enforcer. Bring enough firepower that they know we mean business, but no ruttin’ grenades. We got River as our foresight and we want this guy to like us enough to hire us, not shoot us down for looking too threatening. Dong ma?” 

The only complaint is Jayne who growls, “Ah Mal, it ain’t no fun without them grenades...” 

…to be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew meet a new player in the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own no recognizable characters, plot, dialogue or setting. All mistakes are my own.

The job starts out smooth enough. They meet McCreary on neutral ground in a bar on Santos and he only brings two other men with him as back up to Mal’s three-man back-up. Unease prickles at the back of Mal’s neck even as he checks River to see if anything has set her off. She gives a slow shake of her head, eyes flickering to his for less than a second before looking away. He looks at Zoe who seems no less wary than normal for an unknown situation and tries to settle his own overactive nerves. 

They sit down at a table and McCreary motions for a round of drinks to be bought on him. Mal is able to get a good look at the guy from the light above their table as they all gather around it. McCreary seems to be a man around Mal’s age and height with dark short cropped hair, a neatly trimmed beard and eyes like a brewing storm. The man exudes an air of power and authority. Mal would almost guess he was former military by the way he carries himself.

He don’t like the way the man is already eyeing River from across the table and takes an immediate dislike to him when Mal sees his gaze roam her body from head to toe. Mal resists the urge to shift closer to her, but her hand on his leg under the table stops him from doing anything that might show weakness or attract too much attention. 

It’s a long moment before McCreary speaks and breaks the uneasy silence. “Captain Reynolds, I’m mighty glad you reached out to me to do some business. I’ve been looking to work with someone who can handle themselves.” He addresses Mal, but his eyes flick to River once again. 

“Like your pretty thing here, she looks like she can handle herself,” he says, giving her a charm smile that makes Mal’s stomach twist. “What’s your name?” 

“River,” she says, calm and cool. 

He inclines his head. “At the risk of sounding like a ruttin’ sap, I have to say you might be the most breathtaking woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. You can have the distinct pleasure of calling me Bram, if’n that’s alright with you?” 

She searches for meanness in his thoughts or intent to do harm or hurt to herself or the crew and finds nothing of proper concern. He’s a mixture of darkness and light. Warmth and cold. Brutality and kindness. He is many things in one, but his interest in her seems to be genuine. She will have to dig further to be sure though. She senses Zoe’s wariness, Jayne’s restlessness, and Mal’s discomfort at the added attention on her.

“Bram,” she tries out on the tip of her tongue and he smiles in response before he reluctantly returns to the business at hand. 

“The job is simple. I need supplies delivered to a location a few hours away from here. I’d send my own men, but I’m short on time and a team I can spare. I’m getting to the ruttin’ point where I got more supplies that need deliverin’ than I have the men to take ‘em. The only danger you might come across is an overzealous fed that takes to patrolling that area. He’s nosy but none too clever. I’m fairly certain you could handle him just fine.” He aims the last part at River, something like admiration and intrigue in his eyes.

“What kind of supplies are we talkin’” Zoe asks, all business and professionalism.

His gray eyes shift to her. “Mostly food and medical for those unfortunate souls the Alliance don’t bother helpin’. A few weapons to hold a fight if it gets nasty though.”

“That’s mighty kind of you. You fight in the resistance?” Zoe inquires, sensing a possible fellow comrade in arms. 

“I hold no love for the Alliance, but I ain’t got the man power nor the will of mind to start a war I can’t win. I wasn’t no Browncoat or nothing, but my family suffered enough at the hands of those core bastards that I’d never align myself with ‘em. I’m in the business of making money, of doin’ a mite more than just surviving so I do what needs getting done, I help if’n I can afford to and I leave it to fate if’n I can’t,” he explains simply and unapologetically, and River hears only truth in his words. 

She sees more of him this time and she lets it flood her with knowledge. He is a survivalist, a life formed from blood, fighting, and loss. He learned to fight for himself and no one else after the death of his family. He lost parents, a younger sister, and two close friends to an Alliance raid when he was 16 but instead of joining the resistance in the fight, he fell in with a crew of smugglers and went off world. He was sucked into this world ever since and the years had only hardened his resolve to only look after his own interests. She sees his interest in her, the fascination of an attractive young woman who could handle herself. He admires strength and beauty and he likes what he sees so far of her. 

“Where we takin’ this delivery?” Mal inquires, taking a sip of the drink that was bought in an effort to be cordial. 

McCreary clears his throat. “Avalon. Albion’s only moon. You’ll meet a man there at the local bar, goes by the name Dillon. Flaming red hair and beard to match, you can’t miss him. You’ll do the exchange in the alley behind the bar. Once you’re done, message me and we’ll talk further.” 

“Sounds easy,” Zoe comments, glancing at Mal and then River. Jayne is preoccupied with the rather good ale he’s been given. 

“That’s because it is. We’ll call this a trial run. We need to build some trust between us. I’m already beginning to like you and your crew and that could prove potentially dangerous if there’s a chance we could end up as enemies. I certainly don’t want that,” McCreary says with a crooked smile, his cool eyes sliding over to River and she is unsure how much to return interest. She feels the conflicting and roiling emotions brewing in the Captain and doesn’t want to push her luck. He gets protective when he thinks she is being targeted and she doesn’t want him making an enemy out of McCreary when they could use the money and the job. 

“We don’t want that either,” Mal agrees, his blue eyes watchful.

McCreary claps his hands together. “I’m glad to hear it. It was a pleasure doing business with you.” He sticks out his hand and after a moment Mal takes it. They all stand from the table, Jayne chugging the last of his drink and slamming the mug down on the table and wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand.

“I’ll hopefully hear from you soon,” McCreary says and Mal nods and goes for the door, expecting his crew to follow in tow.

“River,” McCreary says, a large hand on her arm as she passes by him. 

Mal turns at the sound of her name and freezes when he sees the hand on her arm. Zoe is giving the captain a look of warning while Jayne just seems bored and ready to leave. River glances between the crew and the man standing before her. 

“Bram,” she responds, not finding what exactly he wants in his head. 

“You’re so beautiful. I’m afraid that I cannot contain myself,” he says, the hand going from her arm to lightly brush the side of her face. “I find myself quite taken with you and I would like to do something about that. What would you say to dinner? I believe your skills will not be needed on this delivery run.”

River sees Mal step forward at the man’s proposition. “I see you’ve taken an interest in my pilot and while that’s mighty sweet, I’ll be needing her so she’ll have to take a rain check on that dinner,” Mal informs him before she can respond, possible mock politeness in his tone that has Zoe stepping up beside him. 

She senses something stir underneath the surface, but McCreary gives no outward difference of mood. “I would like to hear the lady speak for herself on what she wants. No disrespect, Captain Reynolds, but she doesn’t look like a little girl so I wouldn’t treat her like one.”

Mal frowns. “No disrespect neither, McCreary, I am well aware that River is a grown woman, but I tend to be a bit suspicious when the man asking after her is a man I don’t know nothing about. My only concern is her well-being. Her brother would have my head if I didn’t look after her.” 

McCreary smirks. “You don’t like anyone stepping into territory you consider your own, do you? I can assure you I don’t mean her any harm. Quite the opposite really. I would like to show her a good time and I don’t want to have to ask permission. Dong ma?” 

Mal’s expression darkens and Zoe puts her hand on his arm and whispers his name sharply. River speaks up to break the tension, realizing she is gonna have to step in or things are going to get ugly. “It’s alright, Captain.” She has no idea what possessed her to do it, maybe intrigue and the idea that a man was interested in her. Maybe the fact that she had never been with anyone before in that way. 

She addresses Bram. “Dinner tonight after the job is done and the level of trust is higher among us.” She glances at Mal. “The crew could do with a night off ship as well. Does that sound agreeable, Captain?”

Mal’s thoughts and feelings are jumbled up, but when she gently brushes against his mind in a manner she hopes is reassuring, he lets her sense the amount of trust he has in her. She feels his protectiveness and wariness too. “Agreeable enough, if’n you’re okay, River?” His emotions say more than his words do – promising to stay close by in case she needs him tonight. 

He is sweet. He would definitely make a face if he heard her call him that. It makes her want to say it all the more. “I am, Captain.”

Bram takes her hand and brings it up to his lips which are warm and rough, bringing her attention back to the man standing next to her. “Until tonight then.” 

Ok so, the man is coming on strong and she can sense Mal’s slight annoyance and Jayne’s mix of interest and mild disgust, but she doesn’t find it too bad herself. It feels good to be treated like a normal woman and not a crazy girl, especially by a roguish man with very symmetrical features and a look in his piercing eyes that warms her all the down to her toes. He is someone new, a man that isn’t Mal or Jayne or Simon. New means that he’s different and River finds the difference in him to be refreshing. It wouldn’t hurt anything for her to indulge a little bit. 

She allows a small smile to grace her lips and she ducks her head. “Yes, until tonight.” 

They leave the bar and almost make it back to the ship before Jayne cracks. “Someone wanna tell me what in the ruttin’ hell that was back there? Was that bastard actually making eyes at Moonbrain? I thought we’d be coming here for a job, not no gorram match making.” 

Mal cuts his eyes at the back of Jayne’s head. “Yeah, Jayne, good on you for noticing the obvious. Now, mind yer business. Who River takes a likin’ to ain’t none of our concern.” 

“Sure as hell is goin’ to be Simon’s concern when he finds out. The doc’s gonna have a cow.” Jayne looks way too smug about it and pauses in step as something else seems to occur to him too. “I’d a thought you might’ve had a concern or two your own self, Mal. Seeing as your soft on the girl and what not now.” 

Zoe rolls her eyes and shares an exasperated look with River as they trail a little more slowly behind the boys. “Talk about me like I’m not here,” River mutters under her breath.

Jayne clearly wants to pick a fight; a fight he never wins. Mal catches up to Jayne in several long strides and turns to cut him off. “You’re getting mighty mouthy there, Jayne. I’d be watching yourself if I were you.” Lots of alpha maling going on, too much for River. It gives her one mighty headache sometimes. 

Jayne doesn’t stop the shit-eating grin from coming to his face. “Oh, so it does bother you, don’t it? The way McCreary was eyeing her like he’d love to sink his teeth into her.”

“Knock it off, Jayne,” Zoe orders, traces of dry humor and annoyance bleeding into very strong frustration. River feels the situation and the tension building but knows that she can do little to stop it. The Captain has a short temper and an even shorter fuse when it comes to disrespecting a woman, even as River herself feels little more than mild aggravation. Jayne is simply being Jayne and River knows he isn’t likely to change any time soon.

Jayne glances at River over his shoulder and waggles his eyebrows. “I’m betting you read in his thoughts that he’d like to sink something else into you too. That gorram mind reading might actually come in handy after –” A hard and fast fist to his jaw shuts him up abruptly and snaps his head to the side. 

Mal swears in Mandarin and shakes the hand he just used to clock Jayne. He’s most likely going to have to ice that later. “What have I told you, Jayne, about talking to a woman like that? You keep at it and you’re gonna lose your gorram tongue.” 

Jayne looks wildly affronted and a little contrite as he rubs at his already swelling jaw. “Ruttin’ hell, Mal! I didn’t mean nothin’ by it! I’s only havin’ you on.” 

“Even so, it’d be in your best interest to mind your manners, Jayne. I mean it,” Mal orders, his tone deadly serious.

River silently approaches the two men, who are scowling at one another. She looks to Jayne and pats him on the shoulder. “Mind reading does come in quite handy, Jayne. Your brain in particular has given me many ideas about sex and how to properly please a man. Your thoughts leave very little to the imagination.” Jayne’s eyes widen comically big and Mal looks like she hit him over the head with a pipe. Zoe disguises her laugh as a cough behind her hand. 

Jayne’s struck speechless and Mal stares at her, a strange new light in his eyes and his previous fury at Jayne practically already forgotten. “You never cease to surprise me, lil’ Albatross.” His eyes flicker to Jayne. “You certainly keep him on his toes.” 

She cocks her head and offers a smile. “That’s my aim, Captain.”

He gives her a crooked grin in return and shakes his head. “Best keep the talk about sex to a minimum though. Simon will freak, Kaylee will have a hay day and you’ll make Jayne here short circuit.” Jayne’s shock turns quickly into aggravation. 

Still sore at Mal for hitting him, he mumbles a curse under his breath and stalks off at a faster pace to the ship. His angry thoughts are swirling around River’s mind and she only catches snippets, most of which are about the captain having favorites on the ship and how it’s always him that gets his gorram ass kicked. River bites her lip and hides a giggle by looking down at her bare feet. 

“How you plan on breaking it to Simon about your little dinner date tonight?” Mal wonders, looking down at River standing next to him. Zoe is a few steps ahead, minding her own. 

“Straightforward like. He will make a fuss, but I will make him see it’s alright. At some point, he will have to see that I’m not a child anymore. Need to spread my wings. Leap off the ledge and learn to look after myself. It’s time.” 

Mal purses his lips. “Hmm,” he says, non-committedly.

“You disagree?” She feels many emotions coming off of him, but none that she can directly pinpoint. He must know that she listens to him, respects whatever input he is willing to give. 

“Not at all, lil’ albatross. It ain’t my place, I know that well enough. I ain’t your father, your brother, nor your keeper, that’s for certain. I’ll say my piece as long as you promise not to whack me silly.” He looks vaguely uncomfortable for a reason that River can’t place. 

“I promise not to strike you,” she says, completely serious and his eyes crinkle in that way that she absolutely adores. 

He swallows hard and looks away, slowing his gait as the ship comes into view and Zoe gets farther away from them, seeming to sense the privacy of the conversation. “I more than know you can handle your own self, River. You’re young but I don’t believe that means you ain’t aware of how this universe operates. How awful people can be -” he cuts himself off, rubs the back of his neck. “Gorram it, you know that well enough too – I just – what I’m meaning to say is – not that I’d tell you what to do or nothing -” Her hand on his arm stops him. 

She finally sees in his mind what he’s trying to say and her stomach fills with butterflies and warmth. Jayne is right about one thing – the captain has a definite soft spot for her. He’s protective. Sees her as his to look after but feels it isn’t his place at the same time. She thinks for a moment that this is about his promise to Simon but then she feels that it’s much more than that too. His mind holds very real worry for her well-being, not just physically but she can sense his desire to protect her heart too. He knows what a broken heart can do to a person. 

“Thank you, Mal,” she responds after a long beat of silence. “I’ll be careful.” She knows that’s what he really wants to hear her say. That’s what he needs reassurance on. 

He gives a jerk of his head, blue eyes sliding away again. “If he hurts you –”

“I’ll tear him to shreds,” she finishes for him, a sparkle in her dark eyes. The monotone declaration gets a huff of a laugh out of him, making him soften where he was previously uncomfortable. It goes unsaid that he was going to say that he’d offer to kill the man for her if she’d let him. Instead of offense, she finds it quite endearing. 

“Right enough, lil’ albatross.” 

…

The delivery run goes as smoothly as projected. Mal finds Dillon and makes the drop without that fed being any the wiser. The whole thing is so easy in fact that Jayne actually complains about not being able to bodily threaten anyone and Zoe comments about how no one shot at them for once. When everyone is back on board the Serenity, Mal informs them they’ll be docking a night on Santos and the crew can do whatever they wish with the time. Kaylee almost squeals at the news and throws her arms around Simon who has his familiar pinched look about him at even the prospect of doing something different. Jayne gets a wide smirk on his face and a glint in his eye, while Zoe seems awfully indifferent about it. Both Mal and River sense in their own way the reason for Zoe’s hesitation.

River doesn’t say anything to her brother until they are almost to Santos. The others clear out of the kitchen quick like when they see Simon’s face pale considerably and his jaw clench tight when his sister utters the very phrase that he never wanted to hear her say.

“Mei-mei, I don’t think this a good idea,” he says calmly, at least for him.

River rolls her eyes and huffs out a breath. “You never think anything is a good idea. Wasn’t asking for your opinion or your permission. Simply telling you how it’s going to be. I want to go out. Want the experience of being a woman.”

Simon’s face pinches further. “But River, does it have to be this way? You really want sex to be the first thing you experience out in this world?”

“You’re such a boob, Simon. This isn’t about sex. He asked for dinner not to father my future children,” she says bluntly, watching with annoyance as her brother tenses slightly at her words.

“You don’t know the world like I do. What men like him really want. He’s only interested in bedding you, River, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I’m trying to protect you.” He reaches for her but she steps away from him, a scowl on her face.

“Forget so quickly my sensing other people? I read him, Simon, and know more about him already than you ever will. He doesn’t wish me any harm. Sex is not the first or even the second thing on his mind. He thinks me beautiful and desires foremost to simply know me better.” River’s face darkens. “Don’t want to even have to explain this to you, Boob. Should have trusted me. Trusted my judgment.”

Simon has the good grace to appear chastised slightly and his shoulders sag in defeat. “I’m sorry, mei-mei. I do trust you. It’s everyone else I have a problem with.” He clears the lump in his throat. “I’m not saying this is going to be easy for me, but I’ll do my best not to meddle in decisions that should be yours alone to make.”

River softens after a moment of studying her brother. “Better,” she praises him, allowing a small smile to pull at the edge of her mouth. “It will be okay, Simon. Watching me mature into a woman who isn’t a child anymore. You’ll get over it.”

He laughs at her word choice and nods in agreement. “I know it will, but you’ll always be my kid sister. Anyone who messes with you will have to go through me.”

River wraps her brother in a tight hug, not bothering to point out that she is way better at physically protecting herself than he will ever be, but the sentiment is shiny. She’s never wavered in the thought that they would always be there for each other, no matter what came against them or tried to tear them apart.

“Love you, Simon.”

He kisses her hair. “I love you too, mei-mei.”

...to be continued...


End file.
